Everyone’s heard of the saying, “Sticks & Stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me”. Do you believe that words don’t hurt you? Do you believe that someone you really care about saying anything out their mouth affects your mood? Well for me, yes words can hurt from a person I care about very much but I will NOT let my day be ruined though. Now, if it’s a person I don’t know at all & they decide to express anything that they would like to say, I wouldn’t care at all. I haven’t built a rapport with them & they’re most likely strangers, so they’re not important to me at all. Tone plays a very significant role with words. There’s no way one person can be very calm expressing themselves & the other person is very loud. The person that is calm will feel like they are not being listened to & will soon be quiet. I’m going to let you guys into my life. In one whole year, I have been living with previous friends because I couldn’t afford an apartment at the moment. I didn’t get kicked out but I left because with one person, our communication & words were way off with each other. We both felt like we were not listening to each other. We were both at fault & I felt like it was best we definitely go our separate ways. We were both better without each other before we’ve met each other. Now with the second friend, I had no choice but to leave. I actually got kicked out, she just wasn’t feeling it at all. I had to respect it, you know. Even though I didn’t understand what I did wrong. I still had to respectfully thank her & officially went on with my journey in NC. What I’m saying is, with those people I could have triggered something to them with my words without any notice & they could have reacted with a defense. I could’ve been the aggressor & never knew it. It taught me to actually think before I speak because some people can react in a way where it’s really hurting them. Last year, I was also taught that “just because a person is expressing something to you, it doesn’t mean their feelings are invalid”. Both parties have to make sure to respect each other so it won’t feel like both feelings are being voided. I would like to thank one of my great friends, Qwan. He actually has been with me through each step of the way of helping me with my communication skills & learning not to take everything personal. He makes sure I’m okay ALMOST EVERYDAY lol. He makes sure that I understand that things are not going to always be on my time. I’ve known him for almost two years & for him to actually pay attention & help me on where I messed up in life.. he’s an AMAZING PERSON.
Remember to be kind, remember to understand, remember to do things from the heart, even if the other person doesn’t understand. One Love.
Brandlyn Owens is passionate about exploring and educating herself and others about mental health topics. She's a momma of 2 kiddos and she resides in Durham, NC.